Sunday Night Thoughts..

This is going to be the first of many blogs, im not sure how many people will read what i write, but i'm going to write anyways.
I normally keep a hand written journal, writing is more personal to me, u can get more of a sense of what the writer is feeling just by looking at the handwriting. But, i have way too many nosey people in my life that just read what i've written and blow it completley out of proportion. Its always been that way. i even put a warning label in the journal.  "If you cant handle what i've written, DONT read it."  Self explanatory, but often ignored. 
I am not going to put my identity out there.  I feel i dont need to. Nobody knows who i am, so really what does it matter right? Well, still, not going to happen. I want a place where i can say whats on my mind, and not have the people in my life throw it in my face.  i will however give you some information on myself. Just basic info...i am a 27yr old female, i live in South Carolina, i am currently still married, fixin to do the whole divorce thing (thank god) and i have 2 beautiful boys. I am currently in a relationship with a wonderful man. I'm sure that will be all about me right now.
I worked overnight last night, got out at 530 in the morning. i hate it, i am not a night person. i would rather be snuggled in the bed sleeping instead of sitting here just passing time.  Another reason i hate working overnight is that i am a severe insomniac to begin with, and then adding having to be up all night, not cool.  I take seroquel to help me sleep.  It works, but i refuse to take it unless i have a night off (like thats going to happen) because i dont want to sleep the day away.  My boyfriend went to church this morning, so i stayed in bed.  Church isnt my thing. I've tried, just cant do it. I have too many different beliefs in my life, and going to church just doesnt fit in with those. My mother is a wiccan, my father loves church and loves god. I have always been very interested in religion, when i was in school i would study all of them.  Every religion is different, but the main thing about the western religions, like christianity and jewish religions, they worship a god, a man/being, that you can not physically see and touch. i am a firm believer in sight, sound and touch. i believe that people should worship and give thanks to the ground we walk on, the air we breath, the water we drink. they are there in front of us, not god. But, i dont want to get into religion, because it ALWAYS sparks a giant fight.  i currently live in the bible belt..i am surrounded by religion on a daily basis.  but as i was saying, my boyfriend went to church this morning, and i stayed in bed. When he got back from church, he went and worked for a little bit, and i still stayed in bed.  I was completly exausted, i have been up for days due to the insomnia, after a few days i will crash and sleep for what seems like forever.  When he was done working, he woke me up.    i have nothing to do half the time, yes, i do have kids, but that is for another blog, because its a whole story in itself. i didnt do anything else the rest of the day. just played cards and smoked a couple blunts.  Yes, i smoke my weed, i love my weed. i have always loved it.  And no, i dont smoke it around my kids, i didnt smoke when i was preg, and i dont put it first, its recreation, not an addiction. my kids always come first.  And now i sit here working. well, blogging, and ''working'' gotta love it.
Well, i think thats it for right now. Alot more to say, plenty of days left in my life to say it.