Tuesday (already)

today i was putting away cloths, and i stumbled on some items that belong to my boys.  Normally i just put them with the rest of their things and pay no mind, But these items were ones they loved to wear, their favorite cloths.  And i lost it.  I was crying over laundry.  I miss my lil men, getting them up in the morning and getting my oldest off to school.  Coming home and hanging out and spending time with my youngest, then going to pick up my oldest and spending the rest of the night playing and spending time with them. How can anyone willingly NOT want their kids?  I had to give mine to my mother because i literally lost everything, but it killed me then, and its still killing me.  I want them back. It hurts me so bad. My youngeset called his grandma his ''other mommy'' that right there makes me feel like i have failed as a parent, as a mother.  I am supposed to be my childrens only mother, no one can replace me.  But i think that its happening.  I've been away from my babies for too long.   I wont be able to see them until at least february.  That would make 6 months that i have been with out them.  just thinking of that makes my heart break. all i have to say is....

EPIC FAIL FRENCHIE, EPIC FUCKING FAIL

i cant keep my kids, i cant keep my house, i dont deserve any thing in my life but failure.