Just a small post before i go

i was sitting around today doing laundry and i've noticed a few things. Right now, i am living in this crummy motel working the desk for a place to live. i lost my home, my car, my job, everything, even my kids. i still have a good head on my shoulder when i should be broke down to nothing. I partially thank my doctor for the meds, but i also have to thank god.  I dont go to church and i am definatly not a religious person. But i believe that there is a force in this world working for us, wether it be fate, luck, or the almighty, you have to believe in something to get thru life.  Life without any faith isnt a life worth having. This motel that i stay at is known for its druggies and hookers, and ppl turning a trick for a buck, but its also full of people who are just down and out and have no other place to go. But i look at this place as more of a hole. u can keep trying to find a way out or you can sit in the bottom and just let it fill up with water. i still dont have a job, but i have resorces, and im working on getting outta here.  Me and my wonderful boyfriend are climbing the sides of this deep hole, keeping our head above the water.  We dont spend all our time with hopes and wishes and prayers, we spend our time hoping and wishing, and praying and doing! This ses-pool of crappiness we are going thru right now isnt perminate, its temporary, if i  believe i can do it. My boys, wether they are in my arms or not are my faith, they are my reason for living, and breathing, and getting them back is my goal, and i am doing everything in my power to get to that goal. 
Tonight there was a man that came to stay here. He lost his job just like me, and made a few bad choices in his life.  And now, he is here. On a temporary basis because his room is billed to the local church. But he has more heart than anyone that i have talked to that stays here. He knows where he can go to get back on his feet, and he is working his way there slowly. He is bedded down here for a few days and he is going out and walking what way he can to get to where he knows life will be a little better for him. Then also tonight, this man that has been here for years, once again came and asked me and my boyfriend for another item that we can spare, but shouldnt have too.  I believe in trying to help people as much as i can, if i can. But when day in and day out for years this is how you live your life, borrowing and begging and scrounging change and cigarette butts outta the parking lot, are you really living? It just makes you think about the different people in this world, and how they were raised. i want my boys to be raised strong, determined, willing to get where they need to go. The world needs more people like that. I want them to be everything that i tried to be, but couldnt quite get there. But the trick is....my life isnt over yet...its only just begun......